Ok...for the few of you that actually followed me when I blogged, I'm guessing you noticed that I kind of just, well...stopped. It wasn't an intentional thing. I don't think I was really even sure why when it happened. I just knew I didn't enjoy it anymore.
The truth is that I like to make lists. Not necessarily written down (although I enjoy those too), but my head is generally one giant ongoing list. I think this can be really helpful at times. What do I need at the grocery store? How will I tackle this mess? What is left to do before we leave? What will we need for this outing? Etc...
The problem is when I let this gift that God has given me for attention to detail to be used in a fleshly manner. I end up putting things on my "list" that never belonged there in the first place. People. Relationships. God.
The other day we were getting out of our car and Isaac hoped out of his seat. Ben had already taken Ava Grace inside and I was standing in the drive way as my 3 year old (very slowly) began to empty his shoes of sand. (We had just gotten back from the park.) I stood there, admittedly very impatient while he just talked about how much fun he had and kept getting distracted from the job he was trying to do. I sat and tapped my foot and just kept thinking about the next thing I needed to do while my son continued to share all about his day with me in the middle of the driveway.
I'm sure many of you can relate to this little scenario. The thing that occurred to me in that moment is that I couldn't figure out why I was in such a rush. We didn't have any agenda when we came inside. There was no dinner to hurry and cook. It wasn't close to bath time. I didn't need to get something done before everyone else got home. Nothing. Just the "next" thing.
For me it is easy to turn everything in to a task and forget to appreciate life's little moments. You know, all those moments that add up to how we ultimately worship. This is definitely why the verse "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) always speaks to me. I think God has given me an attention to detail and for that I am grateful. But I am also grateful that the Holy Spirit continually reminds me to "be still." To not get caught up in making lists and twisting things that I love into something they are not.
So...who knows. Hopefully I will be better at blogging this time. I just want to keep in mind that this not a task....it is a joy.
Ballet Class
6 days ago
2 comments:
I.hear.you.
I think I get in such a cycle of go-go-go, to get everything done that "needs" to get done, if people aren't moving quickly, it irritates me.
Wow, most of the people I'm with all day are small children. They are in no rush (until it comes to who gets the last pack of fruit snacks) and for crying out loud, they have much smaller legs than me. They want to talk about what they're learning, have fun, tell me about it. It hits me too, sometimes, to just slow down because being attentive to them is kinda what my whole "job" is about. #duh
I am sooo with you on this one. Aiden has even asked me "Why?" when I've told her to "come on" or "hurry". And I don't have a good reason to give her. Thanks for this reminder to be still and know who He has called us to be.
Glad you are back to the blog! ;)
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